For years, I did exit interviews to figure out what went wrong. And I saw the same thing play out time and time again.

People were polite on the way out. They said “better opportunity” or “more money,” because that was easier than the truth. The truth was usually something like: my supervisor never talked to me about my future. Nobody asked me what I wanted. So when someone else offered me a chance, I took it.

By then, there was nothing left to fix.

Stay interviews were a game changer. They let us have deep conversations with our people while they were still here, and then take action on what we heard. In an industry with typically much higher turnover, we kept voluntary turnover under 10 percent.

People leave for a thousand paper cuts

By the time a resignation lands on your desk, there were usually months of warning signs. People rarely leave for one big reason. The boss says something. A coworker does something. They can’t get help with something. They go home and grumble. Eventually, they quit.

Why You Need Stay Interviews

A stay interview catches the paper cuts while you can still do something about them.

One and done

Plenty of leaders have heard of stay interviews. Some have even done them. Once.

That’s the problem. One round of questions doesn’t build much. The value is in the follow-through, and in coming back to ask again. If people tell you what’s bothering them and nothing changes, the next conversation gets met with skepticism, if it happens at all.

Keep it casual

The stay interview is a concept developed by Dick Finnegan, who has spent decades studying why people stay. His research found that the number one reason people stay or leave is how much they trust their boss. Company events, awards and free lunches don’t build that trust. Direct, personal conversations do.

In distribution and manufacturing, those conversations work best when they’re casual. No meeting invite. No HR form. A supervisor pulls a good employee aside once a quarter and asks. Fifteen minutes is plenty.

And this is for every leader, not only HR. Supervisors with their teams. Managers with their supervisors. The owner with the people who report to them.

Five questions

Finnegan’s work today is largely with big enterprise companies. When I spoke with him, he was generous with his time and very patient as I asked a lot of questions. I adapted his approach for frontline teams, and I go deeper into each of these in my book, The Frontline People Strategy.

1. What’s working? Start with what gives this person energy. Those are the things you want to protect.
2. What’s getting in your way? Listen for the clunky tool, the process that makes no sense, the schedule that never works. A lot of these are cheap to fix.
3. What do you want next? Don’t assume the answer is a promotion. Some people want more responsibility. Some want to learn something new. Some want things to stay steady.
4. What should we know about your life right now? You aren’t digging. You’re making it safe for someone to tell you when something is going on, so you can be flexible when it counts. And never make an employment decision based on what you hear.
5. What would make you stay for five more years? Ask it, then stay quiet. The real answer usually comes after the pause.

After any answer, use three follow-ups: “What else?” “Tell me more about that.” “What is it about that specifically?” First answers are almost always the safe ones.

When it gets uncomfortable

Most supervisors worry about the same few moments. Here’s how to handle them.

• “Everything’s fine.” You’ll hear this a lot, especially the first time. Try: “If you had a magic wand and could change one small thing about how we work, what would it be?” There is always something.
• They ask for something you can’t give. Be honest. “I can’t change that, but here’s what I can do.” Then find the thing you can do. “That’s above my pay grade” ends the conversation, and it ends the trust with it.
• They tell you they’re thinking about leaving. Don’t panic, and don’t get defensive. Thank them for being honest. Ask what would make them reconsider. Then bring in whoever can help, quickly.
• They ask who will hear about this. Tell them the truth. You’ll share themes across the team, not what they said specifically, unless something needs follow-up.

And take notes. You won’t remember it all. Just don’t bury your head in a notepad, or it will feel to them like you’re filing a report.

What makes it continuous

This is where most stay interviews fall apart.

1. Same day. Write down what you heard, while it’s fresh. Pick one to three things you’ll act on.
2. Within two weeks. Do at least one of them, even something small. Then tell the person: “I’ve been thinking about what you said. Here’s what I’m doing.” That moment is where trust is either built or broken.
3. Next quarter. Do it again.
4. After each round. Look across all of the conversations. If something shows up for more than one person, that’s your organizational signal, and it’s usually something you can fix cheaply before it becomes expensive.

You’ll know it’s working when someone tells you something they’ve never said before. You’ll know it’s really working when your supervisors start asking “What else?” in everyday conversations, with no list in front of them.

Start with five employees

Pick your five best performers. Have a fifteen minute conversation with each one this month. Act on at least one thing you learn.

It costs absolutely nothing.

The exit interview tells you what went wrong. Ask while they’re still here.